Choosing and refusing.....

He shall eat curds and honey when he knows how to refuse the evil and choose the good.

- The Prophet Isaiah

 

What are curds? Is honey really that appetising? Well unless you're Pooh bear or someone with a sweet tooth, these references may not sound that amazing.

 

 

Now we all know about the land of milk and honey. That place of paradise where the richness of natural goodness fills our tastebuds. That sweet Beulah land. Ahhhh. All these references to the promised land makes me think of Mahalia Jackson singing one of them old negro spirituals......but back to the topic at hand. What does all this talk about the promised land mean to a person still in or just coming out of their wilderness experience?

 

Why I refer to the wilderness is because this is where I feel I've been for the best part of 2 years. It's a humbling experience. You lose everything you've ever relied on as 'security' and learn to really believe that God is 'all in all' and he knows what he's doing. You learn to rely on his truth and hold to it in the face of adversity, doubts (inside yourself and from outside sources) and deception (also inside and out). All in all your heart and your faith is tested, and if you're a 'dud', God well and truly will find you out. As I said it's been a humbling experience.

I remember a time in university when God seemed silent. My observation was 'it seems like I used to just say 'Holy Spirit come', and he would come and 'do this' and he would do it. Now it's like he seems so far away (though I hadn't changed a thing)'. I was young in my faith and was used to everything happening straight away, God showing signs to encourage my faith which made me have a sense God was at my beck and call, rather than me being at his. Then suddenly I would seek him and no answer. Things seemed hard, my evangelism seemed hard, everything in the spirit seemed to have stopped flowing as it used to.

I was encouraged by a sister in the faith to chase after God, as he had moved forward and was desiring I come after him. I didn't seem to heed the call immediately. God gave me grace.

The other day God spoke saying it's a time of making decisions. A time I would leave the comfort of having every choice made for me, and a time when I would be expected to make strong decisions myself. In other words, he was teaching me to move in discernment, to work out that which is good from that which is not, and make good, controlled, wilful decisions.

As I think of this, I remember this word I heard a long time back.

'For everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil' a

Now milk is liquid. Curds are solid (just a thought).....

When God takes us out of our comfort zone, he really takes us out. To that place where we are susceptible to making mistakes. Yet he says he will help us. He will not leave us alone. He will guide us through........from the sidelines. Close, but not too close. Until we know how to discern that which is evil from that which is good.

Why, you may ask. Why, I actually did ask.....

 Guess it's time to allow the training wheels to be taken off...

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a- Hebrews 5:13-14

 

Blessings to share Part 2....

But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

                                                                                      - Jesus

Today my blessing to share is a man named David Wilkerson.

2011 among many things marked the deaths of two Christian legends of recent times. The world may not have heard of them. To the world they may have just been two old men who lived out their course, but to God, they're lives are as important as the air we breathe. Their names- John Stott and the man mentioned above, the blessing I'd like to share with you.

Now the story goes as follows. One day, a man was sitting in his house reading a magazine, and caught sight of an article which immediately drew him. There was the picture of several young men from New York City, recently charged with murder. Something moved inside him and he knew God was calling him to do something. In February 1958 aged 26, he moved from his church in Pennsylvania to New York, in the hope of reaching out to street youths just like these ones. This man was David Wilkerson. There he would meet Nicky Cruz and one of the most notorious gangs in NYC at the time, the Mau Maus. Nicky and many of the Mau Maus actually became Christians over the course of time (though some did turn back to their old lives, some not living long enough to turn back again). God used this man to reach out to the lowest of the low. In the heavens his name will never be forgotten.

To me he is an example of steadfastness and endurance, spending over 50 years in the service of the Lord. Now some of us will make it to the end, still serving God. Some won't. Some will fall away, some will give up, some will get tired and no longer consider the road worth treading. But some will be at the point of giving up and God himself will strengthen them. Some will have their head face down in the dirt, having been battered and bruised by the devil and God will make them to stand, as they trust in him and not their own weakness.

There are times when we feel to give up, it's true. There are times when we feel like throwing in the towel. There are times when we know God is strong but we are so weak we are unsure how much longer we can carry on. I had one of those times this week. But I know I would rather die, knowing God took me than to be destroyed by the enemy, because I gave up. I know I would rather lose my life a double amputee, but still in God's service than to lose my life having not endured. In whatever situation God puts us in we must endure, until he brings us through it. He is more than able, as I am finding out. When we ask God for strength in the hard times, he is faithful to answer us.

David Wilkerson did it. John Stott ran the race and won the prize, having endured to the end. Will we do the same? Each one of us can do more than we think we can. Keep going.

Blessings to share part 1...

Evening, or morning or afternoon, depending on when you're reading this. This post was planned as a quick testimony to God's providence and faithfulness even in my doubts, yet time has moved on, and as always I have more to tell about something completely different.....

But first of all I AM going to tell the original story. I don't know about you, but I think it's good to remember and speak about what God's done for us, even if life does go on. Now let me set the scene...

For weeks, months and actually 1 year and a half, I have been looking into learning to barber. The idea would come and go like a thought in the wind but I think some point last year was the first time when I actually picked up some clippers and razored a head! Originally when I mentioned the idea I was discouraged from it by those I spoke to about it. Some thought because I'd done a degree in Engineering it was silly and actually crazy to think about going into such a field. Some thought I should get out of this fantasy world and look into getting full time employment. I thought everyone just wanted to kill the dream inside me, but I bit my tongue (well in the end I did!) and delved into the world of 'work just for the sake of paying the rent'. Yet, 'the barbering idea' never quite left me. The truth was during this time, though I didn't know it at first, I was learning how to endure, working in jobs I didn't enjoy and holding on. God was in fact working through others for my good.

Flash-forward to two months ago. In the house, having finished my temp work 3 months before that which I actually survived (though I felt like quitting countless times), and back on jobseekers allowance. As per regular I was on a diversion from my job search looking up barbering courses and I came across this one in West Thames College. '10 week course' the advert said 'It will teach you techniques such as clipper work, scissor work '........Nice.

Price: £210 no concessions. Not so nice.

I had no way to save this up and living in Christian community, all things in common, saving some money on the side from any funds I had coming in was a big 'No-no'. I had to discuss the whole thing with an elder in my house in the end. He was quite reasonable. 'If you can get it sorted, I have no problem with you doing it'. The 'all clear' was given. Now, how to get it sorted. My thoughts turned to sponsorship.

While still praying about it, I whizzed round with my sponsor sheet mentioning it to people and at the same time seeing if God was moving it forward. With three days left before the course start date, I called up the college and they landed me with a huge bummer. £89 to be added on for equipment costs! I had collected £100 altogether, and my heart was sinking. Maybe God wasn't in it after all.

I had just been reading a book on a man who God seemed to provide for at vital times, without this man's own hand forcing so much to make things happen. I thought 'Maybe I've been striving too much, why haven't I just allowed God to do it. I've been so anxious. I think it's time to give it to God'. So I did. I refused to collect any more money, even from those I'd previously asked and prepared to give all the cash back I had originally collected. If this was God's will, he would do it himself, I would not seek him to bless me moving in my own strength.

Next day, I go to my voluntary workplace. The manager asked me, 'how are your collections going'. I basically explained to her what had been going on and told her I was giving the money back. She said something which intrigued me. 'It's funny but i was looking online for courses the other day for myself and I came across a barbering course. I think it's around £100'. It was at the college near where she lived. As my eyebrows raised, I asked her for the website. Trying to get online I found it wasn't working but they provided us with a telephone number.  Immediately I rang and asked them about the course. They explained the details but with another blow. It was not around £100, it was £352! My manager whispered to me, ask them how much it is for someone on jobseekers. So I did. The lady on the line said 'Oh, it's free. Just bring your evidences'. So I just started the course last Monday.

1 year NVQ, course free of charge, £93.21 for barbering kit from their suppliers and £5 registration fee.

Now remember the £100 which had been raised through the sponsor sheet. You do the maths.... 

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If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is

- 2 Timothy 2:13       

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