These were the opening words to my recent blog on 'Compromise'.
Sometimes you have to laugh at yourself. Otherwise you'd cry. Looking at my blog from two weeks ago, I realised it didn't take me long to reach back on Facebook. All of one week.
As I looked at the post in question, many thoughts came to my mind.
'You're mistake is there now for the whole world to see. Where's the integrity you wrote of.....you compromised', said a voice within me.
And I couldn't ignore it. I couldn't sugarcoat it. As far as I was concerned, I had.
A thought came to me 'You could doctor the post, it's your blog', but No that wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be honest.
'You could leave Facebook again', but what if I was right to go back on and there was a purpose behind it.
'Then again you could play it off because you didn't say you wouldn't open it again, just that you wouldn't close it. You could style it out'......The deceptions of the enemy are always so appealing when trying to save face.....
But having an honest heart is better than looking good on the outside (and that's what I want when all's said and done).
'It's better to be honest, then to pretend like everything's alright. God sees the true picture behind your outward profession and exterior. When you open things up, he can step in and heal'.
I heard this a while ago and it's quite true. So let me pose these questions.
Why do you see someone who's been a man of the cloth for years suddenly get exposed, and only then admit that he's been sexually abusing boys entrusted to his care?
Why do we see someone speaking with passion against certain sins only to be caught secretly partaking in similar ones themselves?
Why do so many make confessions of faith like, 'I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am the head and not the tail, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, I believe the love God has for me', only to end up living life out of feelings of inadequacy, pain, guilt, and the shame of never measuring up to what they believe is expected of them?
Maybe, just maybe it's not a question of ‘that's just who we are’, but a question of ‘how open and honest are we willing to be?’
The greatest thing is when we 'expose' our thoughts, feelings and actions, in the arms of our Father and through his true family we find no condemnation.....only release and love.....
In conclusion, I do feel like I compromised. It’s so easy to do the cliché and say ‘It was God’s leading’, and though this may be true in some cases, in others it’s a cover up. As for me, I’m unsure. At this point, I leave it to God so he can have his say….
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