Where there's a will......

I just realised the will is such an interesting thing. Now for the disclaimer.


WARNING: This particular post is mainly for getting out my thoughts, pondering life decisions and all that. These posts should not be used to build doctrine. We have the Bible to base doctrine upon. Though Praise God if it helps in any way with the decisions you may be facing. Thank you :).


Now lets get into it.


At the beginning of this week, I was sitting on a ferry on the way back from Belfast when I began to be lost in deep thought (which isn't really a strange thing for me). I have some pretty important decisions to make in a month's time concerning:


1) My living arrangements
2) My working arrangements
3) Whether I will choose to make a covenant commitment to my brothers and sisters in this part of the body of Christ

And also probably other things I haven't thought about....


If you don't know already because of my negligence to say, for the past 11 months I've been doing a discipleship year in a Jesus Army community house. It has had its ups and downs, character churners, times of ecstatic joy, and times of absolute boredom, yet it has massively shaped me into the man God is making me into.


Now, I have to make my choices about whether I will stay on living in one of the church community houses and with that whether I'll continue working for one of the church community businesses. But that's just the minor part. The main decision is the covenant commitment (the other two decisions are directly dependent on this one by the way).


For people who truly understand where I'm at, they would probably ask 'Why is it so hard to make this decision? If you love them it shouldn't be so hard to commit to them in this way, except if your unwillingness is out of selfishness or independence'. The truth is (though it may sound like a cliché or a get out clause), my will and what I want is not the main issue at this moment in time. God's will is.


Now a few days ago when I reasoned things up in my head, by pondering prophecies I've received and where my heart was at, I decided I was ready to make this commitment. As for where God was leading, I didn't really know. But I was hoping he was with me, and ready to take the risk. But when I came back to Birmingham, and after a few conversations with people whom I trust to speak into my life, I began to question how much I'd allowed God into my decision, and what his will was on the matter. Now, why is God's will so important? Especially after I'd made a decision, and the decision seemed good.


1) Because my will is not the same as God's will.

His ways cannot be equated to my ways, even if sometimes my will agrees with his.

2) Because my will can be affected by so many things i.e

i) Wanting to (willing to) do this because it is the done thing. Everyone makes covenant and therefore so must I to prove my heart.


ii) Wanting to do this because I feel high spiritual ties to where I am, and sowing myself into this soil whether God would have me do it or not.


iii) Wanting to do this because I feel high soulish or emotional ties to the people here and I want to stay with them.


iv) Wanting to do this because it will make my flesh die to its ambition and to its independence, despite not knowing whether it's the Lord's calling for me to do this or not.

Obedience and sacrifice sometimes go together, but as the scripture says when faced with the choice, 'obedience is better than sacrifice'. Some may think I’m ‘crazy’ in believing God has a specific word for this, but I remember Solomon's proverb:


Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.


My will can be a very strong element in a decision, but yet God's will and his purposes are more important and this decision deserves more than a simple ‘I’m gonna follow my heart’. In this instance I must wait, trust and lean on God and allow him to provide direction………And he will……..The Bible tells me so….