Priorities......

Today I'm just gonna write and see what comes out.

I'm tired. Tired of wasting my time, giving myself to things that don't matter. I'm 25 now and I don't know how long I'll have on this earth. God  has my days planned out, but it's up to me to utilise them well. I know I spend way too much time on facebook, way too much time drifting online from site to site. Too much time messing about in the house or not doing anything particularly. All in all, I spend way too much time on things that won't matter in eternity or even in 5 months! My mind has already kicked back into gear so I guess that's my little rant over, but truthfully I think I'm at the stage where God's calling me to prioritise.

I've embarked upon a barbering course due to finish in May. At the moment this is my focus. Other things such as learning guitar, listening to music, writing music, church meetings, work, volunteering, visiting people and from tomorrow, gym time are staples in my life, but the barbering sticks out as what God would have me focus on at this particular time. However, in terms of watching the tutorial videos, practicing cuts and doing homework, I don't believe I'm at the place I should be.

Why? Well the main reason is that I've been making the staples the focus and neglecting what should have been sought first.

Now I'm the type of person that writes a plan and forgets it in a week. I've written quite a few plans on how I'm gonna get through this course, then tied myself to them but they've all gone to dust. I find it quite hard to stick to a schedule and often leave behind the schedule at a point and end up giving my time to other things. My life is quite a random life and the only patterns of order I have is because people have drilled into me a focus at a particular time. In other words I stuck to them because I was accountable and they eventually became habits.

Quiet times, reading my Bible, guitar practice (which is developing), going to lessons are such habits which have been instilled into me. I guess there are some things which I have etched into my life as habits because I felt it was needed. Things such as my 'almost' daily walks and finishing books by reading 'normally' a chapter a day are such learned habits I pushed for without outside accountability. Guess that proves it is possible for me to learn habits when I feel they are needed.

I don't know why some things I stick at and some things I forget and don't. I think it's important to have stickability, and when it's something set in stone, official or something I'm seriously held accountable to be doing (like going to work for example) I often will stick with it. But when it's not, I can easily forget and when I remember, time has slipped away and the zeal has flagged. I don't do well with vows and tying myself to things in promises because I often fail at them, and then I just feel worse.

I think the best times I learn habits is when I'm accountable to others in a serious way. Where it'll affect me or someone else if I don't do them and I can sense the pressure of that. Other times are when I sense an urgency that I need to learn this habit and my passivity is no longer acceptable, so I do learn it.

Whoever reads this, please pray to God for me. I have two months of this course left and it's important that I do learn to prioritise in this particular case. And that sooner rather than later......