Meditations Part 3....

When I say what I would say

Grace catches me

Takes me away from my mistakes

I'm grateful that I'm saved

When I'm tired

He gives me ways to meet the day

Though I can't change the man

He came to clear my slate

Lord Christ

You came to make me a man

And I tasted the hands of the matrix

I crave better

I'm not a slave 

To the rabbit hole pacesetters

So I box myself out the box

Mayweather

He lifts me like a weight

From the world

Sin system that decays

And slips me in his kingdom, the king of

Heaven is my kindred

And he lit a fire

That the devil won't extinguish

Seeing this attire

Of a rebel that's distinguished

The Father sees the heart

So he's settled in his interest

Don't matter if you're gangbanging

Or a man jammin'

Christ loves you

His pledge is for the sin sick

Minister

Simpleton

Not Sinister

Walking the way of this life

Til the finish bruv

And you can ask me  

'What is it's meaning'

And I'll say serve God

Love who he brings to ya

Dreams Part 1...

I didn’t think it was so important to share dreams until a few days ago, but after one of my dreams was fulfilled in a way which affected a lot of people around me. I thought it might be good for me to write down some of the dreams and words I've had because I think they may be relevant in some way to those who read this blog so here goes......

(P.S This obviously overrides the disclaimer from the previous post as these are dreams, not thoughts though it still isn't suitable to be used for doctrine).

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A couple of weeks ago I had a dream that I was walking through a pathway to a square where Kirk Franklin (a gospel musician) was doing an interview with Chris Rock (an American comedian). Chris Rock had supposedly become a Christian. I am not a title person or someone who regards the name someone has, so I went up to Kirk Franklin to talk to him like any other person. Yet he had no time to exchange more than a few words. He seemed to think he was better than me, more famous, more known and had no need to be talking with me. He had such a proud look and attitude and I was surprised that he was so rude to me. Anyway I left that place but I saw a large queue heading towards the place I’d just left. I was in the corridor seeing this huge queue to the studio. Everyone was queuing up for a Kanye West concert. I found this kind of strange because I wouldn’t expect they’d be holding a wordly concert in the same place that a Christian interview had just been held but things carried on as if it was normal.

I had another dream, the same night of a famous pastor I’ve listened to in the past, leaving that same studio later frustrated. He was swearing as he went up the hill away from the studio, and seemed to be resolved not to go back. But he was convinced by those who came after him to go back because his sister (who is also a famous gospel singer) wanted to talk to him. As he came back, my mom (who really likes this singer) and her sister were sitting on deckchairs in the studio. My mom was happy because she was seeing one of her inspirations. Then the pastor came to be interviewed by his sister for the television cameras. At that point in the dream I realised, he didn’t come back because he wanted to do the right thing or help his sister out. It was because he knew it was reality TV so he had to act the part. He knew they would be filming and consequently his return and interview was all for the cameras.

I had another dream a couple of weeks ago. In the dream I was at one of our annual church marquees with a few others and they were setting up for the MTV music awards. In the dream I told the people setting up that they couldn’t do that because people from the church would be there and I was concerned that when those from church knew what was going on, they would leave as they didn’t approve nor come to see that. However the show started and the MTV Music awards started rolling. The whole crowd were those who would normally come to the marquee but as the awards were going on, they didn’t seem to notice the difference or didn’t mind.

I also had a dream a couple of weeks ago in which I was in this huge hall which we normally use for church. There was a huge system playing Ja Rule songs and a lot of other popular songs I remember from my past. I began to sing along with these songs and there were quite a few people in the hall who were there just vibing along with the music. Everyone was so into the music, yet I saw in the corner this young lady sitting and staring. She seemed to be a sign of something which was controlling the atmosphere of the room. When I got closer to her I realised it was Aaliyah (the singer who died in 2001). I looked at her, then I looked at everyone in the room who didn't seem to know anything was going on, but continued to enjoy the music. I spoke to her saying 'But your father's not my Father'. She looked to me as if to acknowledge what I'd said as if she already knew, yet all the people in that room that night didn't know it. They were being decieved that it was harmless. Some were Christians, some weren't. Yet the devil was using their ignorance to lead them away from God.

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Obviously these dreams seem to be linked with the spirit of the world battling to enter the church to bring death to parts of it or neutrality, and particularly the last one shows a decieving spirit leading people away from God through worldly things or things from the past which are wrapped up to look harmless. Ignorance being the key to people being taken away. Those who intercede, these are words particularly shared for you to do something with them. Blessings........

Where there's a will......

I just realised the will is such an interesting thing. Now for the disclaimer.


WARNING: This particular post is mainly for getting out my thoughts, pondering life decisions and all that. These posts should not be used to build doctrine. We have the Bible to base doctrine upon. Though Praise God if it helps in any way with the decisions you may be facing. Thank you :).


Now lets get into it.


At the beginning of this week, I was sitting on a ferry on the way back from Belfast when I began to be lost in deep thought (which isn't really a strange thing for me). I have some pretty important decisions to make in a month's time concerning:


1) My living arrangements
2) My working arrangements
3) Whether I will choose to make a covenant commitment to my brothers and sisters in this part of the body of Christ

And also probably other things I haven't thought about....


If you don't know already because of my negligence to say, for the past 11 months I've been doing a discipleship year in a Jesus Army community house. It has had its ups and downs, character churners, times of ecstatic joy, and times of absolute boredom, yet it has massively shaped me into the man God is making me into.


Now, I have to make my choices about whether I will stay on living in one of the church community houses and with that whether I'll continue working for one of the church community businesses. But that's just the minor part. The main decision is the covenant commitment (the other two decisions are directly dependent on this one by the way).


For people who truly understand where I'm at, they would probably ask 'Why is it so hard to make this decision? If you love them it shouldn't be so hard to commit to them in this way, except if your unwillingness is out of selfishness or independence'. The truth is (though it may sound like a cliché or a get out clause), my will and what I want is not the main issue at this moment in time. God's will is.


Now a few days ago when I reasoned things up in my head, by pondering prophecies I've received and where my heart was at, I decided I was ready to make this commitment. As for where God was leading, I didn't really know. But I was hoping he was with me, and ready to take the risk. But when I came back to Birmingham, and after a few conversations with people whom I trust to speak into my life, I began to question how much I'd allowed God into my decision, and what his will was on the matter. Now, why is God's will so important? Especially after I'd made a decision, and the decision seemed good.


1) Because my will is not the same as God's will.

His ways cannot be equated to my ways, even if sometimes my will agrees with his.

2) Because my will can be affected by so many things i.e

i) Wanting to (willing to) do this because it is the done thing. Everyone makes covenant and therefore so must I to prove my heart.


ii) Wanting to do this because I feel high spiritual ties to where I am, and sowing myself into this soil whether God would have me do it or not.


iii) Wanting to do this because I feel high soulish or emotional ties to the people here and I want to stay with them.


iv) Wanting to do this because it will make my flesh die to its ambition and to its independence, despite not knowing whether it's the Lord's calling for me to do this or not.

Obedience and sacrifice sometimes go together, but as the scripture says when faced with the choice, 'obedience is better than sacrifice'. Some may think I’m ‘crazy’ in believing God has a specific word for this, but I remember Solomon's proverb:


Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.


My will can be a very strong element in a decision, but yet God's will and his purposes are more important and this decision deserves more than a simple ‘I’m gonna follow my heart’. In this instance I must wait, trust and lean on God and allow him to provide direction………And he will……..The Bible tells me so….

Fear: The third and final part....

“What is truth?”

                                                              - Pontius Pilate

Do you have an answer?

Now in church meetings on Sunday, after the worship time, our congregation are normally encouraged to share what we have on our hearts. It maybe a small song or something spoken. Not everyone speaks but that which is spoken is often poignant, and able to bring direction to either one person’s life or to a cluster of individuals. That's how God works you see. One word can bring out different results in different people.

One day I shared that 'God doesn't want us to fear him, he wants us to love him'. God's been showing me his truth in that statement, but adversely that he requires both.

But how does that work? He wants us to fear him and to love him? There is no fear in love. Thats the truth. But Jesus had 'the spirit of the fear of the Lord'. That's also the truth. Yet, you could argue he personified love. God is love and Jesus is the express image of God.........Anyone a bit confused?

How can so many supposedly contradicting truths have authenticity about them? I've started to think a lot of us, including me, have fear boxed up in some kind of 'one size fits all' hamper. When we hear the word fear we often think of something which is crippling and brings shame, and as far as we are concerned that is the only type of fear which exists. But it is not so.....

There is a fear which brings us into service, and draws us closer to God. To honour him, but also to know him deeply. That is the fear of the Lord.

There are many types of fear that the Bible speaks about. Fear of harm, fear of punishment, the fear which brings timidity, caution and so on. But none of these fears which I have just mentioned are the fear of the Lord. But they are the type of fear which verses such as 1 John 4:18, and 2 Timothy 1:7 refer to. The fear which belongs to God is totally different.

The fear of the Lord is:

The beginning (foundation) of true wisdom (a) 
A life giving fountain (b)
The beginning (foundation) of true knowledge (c)
That which lengthens one's life (d)

The fear of the Lord is good and necessary in order for us to walk in a healthy relationship with God, but though needed, it is not the most important thing God requires us to operate in. Make sense? I'll continue.

God wants us to fear him, not with the fear which the world, the flesh, the devil or anything else brings. He wants us to have the fear which he inspires (In Hebrew he calls that type of fear 'yirah'). However, the most important thing God wants us to do is love him. You see, the old covenant was based on fear, and inspired fear (both Godly and human). But we are not under the old covenant. We are under the new. And the new covenant is a covenant built on the law of love, and sealed by love (his blood poured out for us).

So check this. We can fear God without loving him, but we cannot love him without fearing him. Going even deeper, Love (Jesus) possesses the spirit of the fear of the Lord in it's fullness, yet not all those who have the spirit of the fear of the Lord possess his love.

Now getting to the bottom of this was quite hard for me, and to tell the truth there is probably more to it. But this is foundational. When you make a public statement saying God spoke/showed this to me or start with God doesn't or God said, you have to know that you know that it's from God. Sometimes I've messed up in such instances, speaking out of emotion or in a lying spirit, and come into shame as a result of it. It's important for us to check ourselves, and deal with anything 'foreign' by checking the spirit of a word spoken, seeing if it’s in the spirit of the new covenant and also measuring it against the scriptures. I share this with you because it might help. If not now, maybe in the future.


So back to the original statement 'God doesn't want us to fear him, he wants us to love him'. Through his love, he delivers us from all the fears which life and people bring to us, but he does this in order that we would learn to live in the fear of the Lord.

Now what is the fear of the Lord? I've mentioned it in previous posts but I'll briefly go over it again. It is a reverence, often the result of meditating on God's awesomeness. It is that which causes us to leave the bad behind. There is also so much more to it. But if you love him truly, you do not fear punishment from his hand, for you live to please him. You are not intimidated in his presence, for he is your Father. It is so important we learn to love him, walking in the right type of fear.

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a- Psalm 111.10, b- Proverbs 14.27, c- Proverbs 9.10, d- Proverbs 10:27

Meditations Part 2....

Why is my heart so different from yours?

Why is my heart so different from yours?

The question arrests my lips

 Spoken with sincerity

Why is my heart so different from yours?

I die a little more

In every glimpse I get of your nature

It challenges me deeper than pores

Breaks through my organs

Deep as cells that hold DNA

Etched in the deeper brain cavities

I feel ashamed

'Cus your my master I follow you

Dont I?

Your words I clasp to for life

And acknowledge through

Every act I do

In all honesty 

 Don't I?

In all honesty I don't and it's all lies

My words say it but 

My heart is far from you

Isaiah prophesied well

Now I smell that I'm the hypocrite you spoke of

When your lively words were construed

To grieve the religious

Walking as the lost fools

Following traditions whilst 

Thinking them as Gods rules

But their hearts don't bear 

The marks of their master

The sensitivity, the compassion

The mercy and the love that he captures

The new covenant caught through

His actions and his sayings

That if somebody smacks you

Don't you repay him

 Turn the other cheek

Though your soul wants to slay him

See the mindset 

Of the broken and hating

And be like your Father

Consoling the pagans

Why is your heart so different from mine?

Why is your heart so different from mine?

If I really am changed

I will relay your life

Not just a smile

And not just in false pretense

Looking like the righteous

But inside dead bones of men

Speak an uncleanness

Saying that I'm sold to sin

Being composed

But corruption is shown within

Do you want that

Do you want that

Really...

Do you want that

I didn't think so

Fear part 2....

“I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.”

                                                                                   -Oscar Wilde

Funny quote eh! And yes I think when Oscar was writing he meant to say it that way around, just to make us think a little. But seriously, change the words 'wicked' and 'good' around in the above sentence and you have what I wanna talk about.

Probably less then a week after I wrote the 'fear' blog (and it always seems to happen less than a week after!) I was confronted by this paragraph out of the book.

"Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees--their hypocrisy. The time is coming when everything that is covered up will be revealed, and all that is secret will be made known to all. Whatever you have said in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have whispered behind closed doors will be shouted from the housetops for all to hear! I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have nothing more that they can do. But I'll tell you whom to fear. Fear God, who has the power to kill you and then throw you into hell. Yes, he's the one to fear ".

Hypocrisy........The clause and the catch. But what is a hypocrite? Well here's how the story goes...

Aeschines, a successful actor in 4th Century BC Greece had embarked upon a career in politics (something like the Arnold Schwartzenegger of his day). Like any other in his profession he was known as a hypo-crite which was the name given to stage actors at the time. He once debated one of the premier guys in his field, Demosthenes (the guy who used to put stones in his mouth before he spoke, in order to become a better and clearer speaker!). To cut it short, Demosthenes ridiculed Aeschines integrity as a politician, saying if he could play act as a character in a stage show, what stopped him play acting the role of a trustworthy politician? This is where the term hypocrite got its negative connotations.

Just like then, people have been playacting right through to this century. I once had a conversation with a friend I know from school about the fact that sometimes you can see directly through a person despite all their talk. People that say they're hard, womanizers, criminals but yet when you catch them on their own or out of role, it's obvious that that isn't who they really are. Hypocrisy can work two ways, but God is concerned with that hypocrisy which involves those who claim to follow him.

'Should we be scared of hell? Should this be our motivation to share and proclaim the gospel?.........No.......not if we're in Jesus and sincerely believe in all he's done for us'.

I still agree with this statement but with one important qualifier. We must be living the life which we claim to be living and being true followers of Jesus. You don't go to a Mitsubishi dealer looking to buy a Chrystler. You don't go to a Kanye concert looking to hear a set from the Backstreet Boys. God sees through what we claim to be and looks at our fruit. Now you could be a tongue talking, Bible quoting whatever...but if there's no fruit, if we don't love our neighbours as ourselves, if we are selfish, money grabbing people who look just like the world in a significant amount of what we do...if people can't trust us because we love to chat the business of others, then whats the point? It's inward searching and a test of my heart, just as much as it is yours by the way. 

Of course we don't have to fear hell if we are legitimate, walking in the light, bearing the fruit of the Spirit, clothing, feeding and loving him (often through our interactions with those he loves) and so on. But if we're not.........God knows. It's time to check ourselves.

There's a man...

There's a man

That cries tears of sadness

For his children struggling

Dying for life

He stretches his hands out yelling 

'Can't anybody hear me'

Muffled cries of hope, cries of anguish,

Muffled through the stereos 

Of bass boomers and boom blasters,

Muffled through the voices 

Of entertainment crying out

I dont need a man

I don't need a father

I don't need none of your Jesus

I'm happy enough by myself, living life 

I've got all I need 

right

here

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There's a man

That cries tears of sadness

For his children struggling

Dying for life

He stretches out his hands

And dies

For a people who are fine

without him