Inspirations
Scripture:
You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught you publicly and from house to house.
(Acts 20:20)
This is how Paul reached people with the gospel and helped them grow in faith. This statement inspired me midway through watching the Acts movie.Song:
Jesus is cleaning, Jesus is cleaning, every trace of lingering sin, Jesus is healing, Jesus is healing, all through his blood he's cleansing within. Hallelujah, thank you Jesus, you are risen from the dead, took this clay and breathed within it, you are with us, here to stay.
A song God gave me whilst in the car going somewhere (I don't remember where)
Encouragements
i) God wants me to be me, and he delights in how he has made me. Therefore I must glory in this because through me taking a hold of this truth, he will use 'who I am' to glorify himself.
ii) My job is to sow myself into the ground and trust God. God will do the rest. Unless a corn of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains a single seed. But if it dies, it brings forth much fruit.
Ponderings (at various points over the last year)
i) Maybe God is saying I can give more to those in front of me
ii) Things I've been forgiven for (that I could remember at the time):
- Swearing at my mom (When I was 17)
- Fighting my dad physically (When I was 18)
- Harassing teachers at their homes, sometimes out of seeking to have sexual fantasies fulfilled (When I was 14)
- Sneaking into my gran's house in order to watch porn in the early hours of the morning (When I was 14/15)
- Sneaking out of my mom and dad's in order to go to parties and smoke weed (When I was 15)
- Starting fights to gain a rep (When I was 14)
- Sexual acts with females (when I was 16,17 and 18)
- Using women (when I was 16 and 19)
Letters to myself and others
When you're zealous for something always remember people are important, not just there for the experimentation of spiritual gifts or the exercising of an evangelistic ministry. I have to admit a while back when you got into healing, I would avoid asking you for prayer even when I needed it, partly through pride but also 'cause i thought you just saw me as another person to add to the list of deliverance stories. People must know that your genuine and that you pray for them because you love them, and want to see them healed with no ulterior motive. It's important at least with me for relationship building and trust. Also I like sharing scriptures but I don't respond well when it's used as a guilt or persuasion tactic. When people step into legalism tactics, or I sense ulterior motives or even when they're insensitive, I get a bit wary of them. that's just me. Just a few thoughts. Hope they're helpful.This was something to a friend, which ended up being for me. An example of seeing the speck in your brother's eye and not noticing the log in your own.
I just go up there and God gives me strength. Sometimes I actually feel like another man when I'm in the midst of doing anything I believe is God oriented, which includes when I share raps, poems and sermons. But I always have to take the first step and do it. But I know it's not the adrenalin. It's God. He helps me and I'm thankful he does.This was a kind of diary note on what happens when i'm asked to share something e.g at church or at a show.
Specific words from God to me
A word to me from God when I sought to hear him on a particular topic. It was given on the second day of a fast I had instituted for that purpose.
Who told you I wouldn't speak to you if you didn't fast? Didn't I say I'd be with you always? Why don't you believe me?
Random Resolution
I will not push people away but cherish their presence
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