Late night lessons...

So on Thursday night I went for a walk cus I felt I needed to talk to God.

A few months back I left a good job in faith, with the knowing that he had something better for me. I also knew he wanted me to do what he had placed on my heart, and that I would not be satisfied until I did. 2 months later, after an interesting Christmas period where I lost a part time job I thought was gonna be my saving grace, and finished at a barbershop where I thought I would grow and flourish I was left jobless, except for the opportunity to go self employed by building clientele.

I've remained in good spirits feeling God would provide, through both blessings and losses.

That night however I hit a low.

I thought of how much of a failure people must think I am, having left my job and having no promise of a future before me.

I felt ashamed that I cared so much about what people thought and couldn't just follow the path and be who he wanted me to be.

I felt myself a fool and a failure and after slipping out a swear word in my frustration I felt 'God, how can you use me. I'm just a man. I have no strength in myself to do this'.

As I was thinking on some of these things I passed an old CofE church. Some guys of another faith were rolling up their weed on the church door step and I passed them by. All of a sudden I got a strong inkling I should go back and talk to them about Jesus.

Now I haven't talked to anyone out of the blue about Jesus in a one on one situation for almost 2 years. Over the past year and a half, stopping random people and entering conversations of faith has become a major challenge for me. I also felt 'God, how could you use me to do that after how I just used my mouth'. But God isn't a respector of persons. He will work with the worst of sinners to reach those he wants to reach. So I said Ok.

Turning back I began a conversation and began to tell them my story. With no objections they listened to all I had to say from his death and it's implications to the changes Christ has personally made in me. And then we shook hands, finished with some small talk and I left.

I never once told them to move from the doorstep, though they thought that was why I had turned back. I just told them about him as he'd told me to. I can't explain the joy that filled me as I walked home. I started to understand why he put me here, and that it was bigger than the barbering, bigger than part time jobs and bigger than the music I do. He wanted me to realise my fulfillment comes through trusting and doing what he's asked me to do. And as long as I keep focused on what he's asked me to do, I won't have to worry about the rest.

God is faithful and if we are willing and obedient, he will put us in the places we need to be and give us the work he wants us to do, all for his honour and glory.

In honouring him we receive his joy, and in this a true servant of Christ will find fulfillment.

#newyearsblessings